


i miss you (less when you're with me)

by nerdqueenenterprise



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Anal Sex, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexting, a hint of fluff and a slice of angst, mentions of an eating disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:19:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14776595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdqueenenterprise/pseuds/nerdqueenenterprise
Summary: It's been three months since Hugh last saw Paul in person. It'll be three more before he'll join Paul onDiscovery. Six months without being able to meet up. During those, they'll have to make do with calling and texting and missing each other.Or do they?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> credit for the title goes to [eddo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneSociopath/pseuds/InsaneSociopath)!

Embryology has never been Hugh’s strong suit. He could’ve gone into that field - he passed his social skills test for that area of work with flying colors, but it would’ve been more science and sitting in labs than he really wants.

So the only time he really has anything to do with that specific area is when he reads medical journals and they mention it.

Or when he’s sitting at the hundred-twenthy-eighth Denobulan medical conference, listening to Doctor Zeh-mon talk about… actually, Hugh has no idea what xe’s talking about because he got distracted by being a bit sleepy by now. It’s already six pm, and he’s been here since seven am, giving one talk himself and listening to way too many interesting presentations, talking to medical professionals from all over, catching up with a few old colleagues, including Bessie, his old roomie from med school times.

She’s sitting next to him now too, eagerly scribbling away to write down as many of Zeh-mon’s points as she can, because unlike him, she’s always been fascinated by embryology.

Hugh shifts in his seat to get more comfortable and tries to blink his eyes back into full awakeness.

The conference is three weeks long, and they’re only in the second week of twelve, sometimes sixteen hour days. And that doesn’t include the social activities afterwards, and even more social activities on the weekends. He went rock climbing and surfing last weekend, attended three? four? parties (and got rather drunk), and then there was communal bread baking and… something else in the mornings. It’s a bit like summer camp, really, and at least all Starfleet people are in paid-for five star hotel suites. The gym is amazing, and whenever Hugh finds the energy to actually wear himself out there, he soaks in the whirlpool in his suite afterwards and it feels like a spa.

Well, almost. He _does_ miss one sassy myceliologist - mycelogist - myco - fuck, he really is tired, isn’t he? Mycioleolog- oh, whatever, he misses Paul. Even now that Paul has the _Discovery_ more or less under his thumb - he’d tell Hugh off for that, because apaprently he’s in no way boss of that ship. Not that Hugh cares - Paul is definitely boss of his heart, and really, if the crew doesn’t yet see Paul as the most beautiful and most brilliant man ever, well… Hugh is certainly happy to pick up the slack - well, anyways, Paul has his ship, finally, and he said that if Hugh waits, there’ll be a senior position opening up soon at their medbay, so they can finally be together then. It’s true, and Hugh applied and got accepted, and he’ll be on _Discovery_ soon.

Until then, it’s long distance. They call each other almost every day, just hanging out, doing their work together, chatting about their days (and occasionally falling asleep with the call still on); and very rarely they manage to meet up in person, go on a date, make out a ridiculous amount, and eventually fall into bed and love each other.

Neither of them can wait to actually coming back to a joint space after work; go to bed together every night; have so many opportunities to kiss and touch and cuddle and fuck every day.

Hugh flips to the comm tab on his PADD, opening Paul’s profile and looks at the picture he set. It’s one of them together, with him snuggled against the side of Paul’s neck and, even though invisible, their hands tangled. They're at an ice cream place on the fourth moon of Garadius IV where they had a really lovely date, and Hugh can still remember kissing the cream from Paul’s hot caramel chocolate off his lips. It tasted great. As did Paul. As did the _other_ cream he kissed off Paul’s body later, when they were curled up in the sheets after sex, still laughing about Paul accidentally having tickled Hugh.

That was the last time he’s seen Paul in person, and now it has been three months since. Three more and he’ll be aboard _Discovery_ and can be with Paul every day, but… half a year. They haven’t gone this long before without meeting up in person, and Hugh misses Paul’s touch fiercely.

He scrolls through the other pictures they’ve exchanged - selfies, mostly. Paul in bed, smiling up at him with his hair fluffy and his eyes still sleepy. Paul bored at work. Paul sticking his tongue out, just to be cute. Paul flushed and aroused, plus a closeup of his dick. And Paul sleepy and sated afterwards. Paul with his mushrooms, Paul with a whole apple stuck in his mouth, Paul winking.

“That’s your man?” Bessie leans over suddenly, shocking Hugh out of his dreamlike state.

“Yeah, that’s Paul.”

“He’s cute. For a human.”

“Yeah, he is.”

“You said he’s a botanist?”

“He works with mushrooms and… the time-space-continuum, physics, chemistry, somehow all of it. He’s super smart, super cute, super hot. I love him.”

She snorts. “Aw, that’s so cute. So… when do you see him?”

“We’ll be on the same ship in three months, but… the last time we met was three months ago, so… I’m a little lonely.”

“Three months isn’t that long. You’ll be fine.”

“Bessie, every moment that I’m not with Paul Stamets, I’m not living my ideal life.”

“You’re really in love, aren’t you?”

Hugh looks at the picture on his PADD again, the way Paul’s lips are curled, his gelled hair that is just _begging_ to be messed up, the bright blue eyes, the jawline, and sighs with the incredible fondness Paul always makes him feel.

“God, yes I am.”

Bessie laughs and pats his arm and goes back to listening. Hugh keeps staring at Paul’s face.

They’ve started a funny thing where they occasionally send each other worn shirts, just to smell the other one again. Hugh is running out at the moment, but at least he still knows exactly how good Paul smells. How soft his skin is. He’s started using some of the products Paul uses too, because not only did it stop Paul’s joking complaints about how he isn’t taking proper care of his skin, but also he smells a bit more like Paul now, carries a tiny piece more of him with him.

The PADD _plings_ softly, the blue dot of an uread message showing up next to Paul’s name, and Hugh’s heart jumps in sudden excitement.

He scrolls down and - it’s a picture. Oh, that’s even bett-

Paul’s face takes up a quarter of the screen. It’s some kind of backwards mirror selfie, with themirror showing Paul’s naked back and the swell of his also naked ass - must be bent over then - and the fake blue gemstone of a butt plug glittering between his pale cheeks.

Hugh breathes and fails at willing his cheeks to stay cool.

He doesn’t even read the caption yet, still fixiated by the way Paul bites his lip, little knowing smile and cattish look in his eyes, the base of the plug drawing his eyes too, and -

Wait. Hugh knows that sink. He also knows the shaver that’s sitting there, and the toothbrush. That’s his sink, at his suite, at the hotel on this planet that he’s in.

_[[your bed looks really nice. i’d ike to try it <3]]_

Paul is here. Paul is in Hugh’s room, somehow, bent against the wall, having fingered himself open so he’s ready for Hugh.

Another little _ping_ , and this time it’s Paul with his face mostly buried in one of Hugh’s shirts.

_[[missed your smell. can’t wait to see you later and kiss you stupid]]_

Hugh can’t breathe anymore. Paul is here. Paul is in his suite, snuggling the shirt Hugh slept in this night. He’s going to get to touch Paul later, and kiss him, and hold him and have him rock himself to completion in his lap.

_((i love you!!!!))_ he texts back, unable to explain himself more, heart beating way too fast already.

He can’t leave yet, but this presentation won’t last longer than another half hour, maybe, and then it’s twenty minutes back to the hotel, fifteen if he manages to really hurry, another five to make the way to his room. Less than an hour before he can hold Paul in his arms again.

 

 

A while later, there’s another message from Paul. This time, he’s wearing the shirt he was cuddling earlier. It’s big even on Hugh, so on Paul it slides down a little, exposing his alabaster shoulder, and Paul is leaning his neck to the side so there’s even more skin offered to Hugh. He’s in the little kitchen inside Hugh’s suite, apparently cooking something.

_[[want to grab a bite later?]]_

And before Hugh can reply, there’s a closeup of Paul’s face, lips open to a little ’o’ shape.

_[[also, i’ve been applying lip balm religiously the past day or so, so you ought to be able to slide right in :o=3]]_

If the implication wasn’t so hot, Hugh would definitely be laughing about Paul’s new emoji invention.

As it is, he tries to shove the memory of what it feels like to have Paul take him in his mouth far, far away and think about the dinner he’s making instead.

_((you’re beautiful. what are you making?))_

Paul takes forever to text back.

_[[something to make you feel good]]_

_((couldn’t think of a way to make it more sexual?))_

He can practically see Paul’s delighted grin.

_[[would you like to hear how ready i am for you? how much i need you inside me? how i’ve been wearing the plug since this morning, when i got on the shuttle? how hard it was to keep my hands off myself when i showered at your room, because i know that’s where you’ve been getting yourself off, too? how i didn’t touch myself for days because i wanted it to be you?]]_

Wow. Okay.

_((hey, wanna dial that down so i don’t have to jerk off in a restroom here? ;) ))_

_[[you’re boring, hugh. guess i’ll go back to cooking… wriggling my ass… imaginging your hands on my skin, your come running down my throat, your balls against my chin… anything else? i don’t know, but i’d really like to ride you until i can’t walk. latersss~]]_

So, yeah, Paul Stamets is fucking perfect.

 

 

Hugh tries to pay some attention to the presentation now, in an effort to get Hugh Junior to calm down. Paul doesn’t text him again, probably busy making food. He’s a good cook too, that one. Good cook with a good cock. Hugh’s a lucky guy.

He doesn’t spend more time than absolutely necessary to make his goodbyes before fleeing to the LINE train, just about catching it, too.

He doesn’t even bother finding a seat there, because he couldn’t sit still anyways. He’s going to see Paul. Paul is here, he’ll get to kiss him and hold him and be close to him again.

It takes him a lot of willpower to not tiger up and down the compartment, and then Paul sents him a cute picture of him taste-testing the sauce of whatever he’s making, finger stuck in his mouth, eyes wide and blue.

It also takes him a lot of willpower to not sprint through the lobby to get to the relevant part of the building with the elevator up to his level, but after maneouvering around languid vacationers, he finally gives in and begins first jogging, then properly running, almost slamming into the elevator’s back wall.

He doesn’t run down the corridor to get to his suite’s door though. Okay, that’s a lie, he totally does, and then the door unlocks.

Hugh breathes. Steps inside. Drops his bag. Suddenly he’s almost nervous.

“Hugh!!” Paul’s pretty blond head peeks out from behinda wall, huge smile on his face. He drops something that clatters on the floor, and he’s really here, throwing himself into Hugh’s arms, perfect and warm and soft, making Hugh’s heart break and mend at the same time while he buries his face in Paul’s shoulder.

“Paul,” he replies, much more quiet, breathing his boyfriend in. “I missed you.”

Paul’s one hand is at the back of Hugh’s neck, really there, squeezing a little.

“Missed you too,” he gasps. “God, Hugh, I missed you so much, love you so much.”

“I noticed. You sent me all these pretty pictures, darling, god.”

They pull back at the same time, still holding each other though, both of them panting a little with how hard they hugged.

“Kiss me?” Paul asks.

Hugh does. And finally gets his hands into Paul’s hair. And on his ass, and that makes Paul moan and press forward into Hugh while he teases around the edges of his underwear.

 

 

The night is still warm enough for them to sit on the balcony. Paul made risotto, and also somehow managed to find one of Hugh’s favorite brands of red wine, a bit dry at first but then it blooms into an amazingly rich taste. Hugh alternates between taking sips out of his glass and kissing the taste out of Paul’s mouth.

They feed each other dessert, Paul practically sitting in Hugh’s lap by then, the Hollywood swing rocking them gently.

Hugh has already told Paul about his day, Paul told him how his travel was, Hugh praised Paul’s food, and eventually the conversation more or less subsided in favor of long, heated glances, Hugh’s hand on Paul’s naked thigh, squeezing a little while they exchange short kisses.

Hugh’s heart is somewhere in his throat. He knows Paul is still wearing the plug (otherwise he wouldn’t be so squirmy), and he knows Paul knows he knows, and they also both know that the tiny aborted thrusting motions Paul makes are entirely deliberate, designed to entice Hugh.

Paul sets his wineglass down. Presses a hand against Hugh’s chest. Looks up at him with those blue, blue eyes and pink lips. Lets the hand slide lower until it parts Hugh’s thighs wide enough for Paul to slide between them and pillow his head on them.

Hugh feels like he’s never been more excited in his life.

“You know, I thought you’d want me to fuck you,” he breathes, watching Paul watch him, watching him stick his ass out some more, spread his thighs, making sure Hugh can see it properly.

“I do.” Paul licks his lips. Sticks his ass out more. “But I also want a little taste beforehand. A treat, for making you dinner. Do you object?”

“Take your pants off.”

Paul keeps that innocent smile on his face while wrestling with his pants. Annoyance flits over his face for a moment when it doesn’t go as smoothly as planned, and then he swears and has to get up to kick them off. Hugh laughs, and Paul does a little twirl, shaking his ass in Hugh’s direction, before freeing his other ankle from the pants. His dick bounces, half caught in his shirt, and then he’s on his knees between Hugh’s legs again.

“Hand me that pillow?”

Hugh does, unable to not kiss Paul. They bump together inelegantly while Paul gets onto the pillow, and his hands are already pressing against Hugh’s groin.

“Love you,” he says when he pulls back.

“Sure. Pull out your dick?”

They both laugh, and Hugh does get his dick out, and Paul goes right in for it.

He’s so incredibly good at it.

Hugh lets himself lean back, one hand at Paul’s cheek, and just enjoys the rhythmic movements, the suction, the heat of Paul’s mouth, his little moans, lets his legs spread open. Paul presses his tongue against the underside of Hugh’s dick, laving him in attention, petting the insides of his thigh with one hand and getting everything he can’t swallow with the other one. Lips and hard palate and soft palate and throat alternate, and Hugh feels himself rush into the rhythm, able to expect everything about it, including the way Paul gasps when he comes up for air, breath fanning over Hugh’s dick, laughing to himself about something as he presses kisses along the side. It's a special kind of intimacy, knowing what to expect from your lover's touch.

When Hugh looks down again, Paul is flushed and his hair already a little messy, lips bright pink and his tongue doing something amazing to Hugh’s slit that makes his balls draw up to his body, makes him fluff his hand through Paul’s hair, not pushing him down no matter how much he’d like to.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, voice breaking a little. “God, so beautiful, Paul.”

“Because I’m swallowing your dick?”

“Because your lips are so pink and your eyes so blue and your jawline could cut a man, and your hair is so soft and your skin is so pale and because somehow, inexplicably, you’ve got a sharp tongue but it’s really nice to my dick.” Hugh grins. “Come up here and let me get a piece of that ass?”

“You ought to _thank_ me for my ass,” Paul retorts, getting up and stretching. His knees pop and he tries the same with his jaw. “Mmh, I swear it gets bigger every time I see it.”

He tosses his shirt away as well and drops his hand to his dick, tugging a little. Hugh slides down further on the swing, spreading his legs and watching Paul touch himself.

Then Paul steps between his legs again, turns around and bends himself over the dinner table, presenting the tastiest, roundest, most perfect ass in the galaxy to Hugh. The blue gem sparkles at Hugh. All he can think about is how smooth Paul’s skin is.

“You shaved,” he says, running his hands over Paul’s ass, squeezing and testing and teasing the skin. “You’re - _fuck_ , you’re completely smooth.”

“ _And_ moisturized. I’m going to get dicked down _stellarly_ , so I thought I’d put in an effort. Wait, stellarly isn’t a word, is it?”

Hugh leans forward to nose at Paul’s taint, taste faint sweat and musk and something that must be remnants of the moisturizer. He lets his tongue slip out, tease along the edge of the gem, tasting lube and skin and metal and Paul’s body heat. Paul makes a pleased sound.

“There should be lube - mmh - somewhere behind the pillows on your side. Not that you’ll need much more, because I’ve been very thorough, but -“

“But we both know how much you like it when it’s very slick,” Hugh says and tugs at the plug.

Paul’s head falls between his shoulders and he exhales heavily again.

“Oh, yeah, I do.”

Hugh makes quick work of the plug, because he waited three months to have that ass bouncing on his dick again, so sue him for being a bit overexcited. He finds the lube and gets his fingers slick. When he puts them in, Paul groans and widens his stance.

“You are such a little slut, Paul Stamets,” Hugh says, biting Paul’s ass just to make him flinch. “I think I need to buy you a dildo or something, so you won’t be as needy anymore.”

Paul clenches reflexively.

“Well, first of all - you’re a slut too, Hugh. Remember three weeks ago, when you begged me to be allowed to finger yourself? Yeah. And secondly - have you heard of those, mmh, uh, oh fuck, um, I forgot what they’re called. Lover kits? Maybe?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, corazón. How do you want to -?”

Paul pushes himself up from the table again, giving a last, delicious clench around Hugh’s fingers before withdrawing and turning around. He’s flushed down to his nipples, and Hugh kisses them, reaching out to hold Paul’s sides (and snatching a serviette from the table for his slicked up hand). Paul leans his body into the kisses, panting a little.

“DIY dick?”

“Still no idea what you’re talking about, but you definitely don’t have to build your own now, because I’m perfectly happy to let you fuck yourself silly on mine.”

Hugh tugs Paul into his lap, helping him get situated on the swing, with Paul’s hands on Hugh’s chest for leverage. Hugh’s dick twitches in excitement. So does Paul.

“You gotta know what I’m talking about,” Paul says through his grin, already reaching one hand back to get a secure hold on Hugh’s dick, lining him up. “Those kits where you take a mold from someone’s erect dick and - oooohh.”

So Hugh’s dick sliding just between Paul’s sphincter, that shuts him up. 

Hugh grins at him.

“You were saying, love?”

Paul replies, but Hugh sinks deeper and Paul’s ass is hot and silky smooth, the squeeze of his sphincter sliding down Hugh’s shaft, and he’s busy feeling his balls clench and the heat spiral down his dick to pool in his belly.

“- can basically take your lover’s dick with you wherever you go. You can even get a kit that makes a vibrator instead of a dildo.”

Hugh hums a noise of assent, even though he has no idea what Paul is talking about anymore. 

“Were you even listening?”

“Paul, your ass is fucking sublime, Jesus. How do you just - hah - keep talking?”

Paul seats himself and wriggles happily.

“I’ve been wearing that plug since five am this morning, babe. I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready for cock. Come on. Fuck me.”

“Let me at least enjoy -“

“Noooooo.” Paul snaps his hips harshly, hands scrabbling at Hugh’s forearms. “Come on, fuck me with that big beautiful dick of yours. Make me feel it. Make me beg for it. Make me feel like you rearranged my guts.” He moves some more, this time more fluidly. “Pleeease, Hugh. I’ve been so good to you.” Bends down, nuzzles his lips against Hugh’s. “Got myself ready for you.Sent you all those pictures. Didn’t even touch myself once, because I wanted it to be you. Cooked you dinner and sucked your cock. Please.”

Hugh laughs a little, reaching behind Paul to pet at his rim. It’s stretched and probably pink and beautiful. Paul’s dick drips precome against Hugh’s belly where his shirt is shoved up.

“Brat,” he chastises warmly.

Paul makes an agreeing noise. “Oh yeah.”

Hugh rolls his hips carefully, noticing how Paul immediately goes with it.

“You know, I had a long day.” That’s not really true. Paul got up earlier than him. “And I’m really exhausted.” He squeezes Paul’s ass. “So I don’t really -“

Paul sits up and glares playfully. 

“So you want me to do all the work?” He gets up on his knees, slowly exposing Hugh’s dick again. His hands play with his nipples, and he’s gorgous. “Want me to bounce on your dick, -“ There’s a slick little sound, and Paul’s breath hitches. “- pleasure myself, take every single inch -“ His hips snap down again and he grinds them forward, Hugh’s dick brushing over the silk of Paul’s insides. “- until you can’t take it anymore, until you come and come and come -“ He punctuates each word with a snap of his hips, a huff of breath, still tugging at his nipples. “- get me all messy inside just because you can’t control yourself anymore, till it drips out.”

Hugh squeezes Paul’s sides. He feels like his dick grew at least another inch, hearing Paul talk like that, clench around him like that.

“Well, yeah,” he says, looking up at his love. “Sounds fantastic.”

Paul grins. “Are you going to clean me up afterwards then?”

The thought of Paul riding his face, maybe, dripping come and lube all over him, his sweet cries when Hugh’s beard rubs against his sensitive thighs, that’s a good thought.

“Fuck yeah I will.”

“Good.”

Paul moves his hips again then, settling into an easy rhythm that isn’t too fast and isn’t too slow, that makes his dick bounce and his ass clench happily, and he holds Hugh down a little, just pressing his hands against his chest and resting his weight on them, smiling down at Hugh. Sometimes Hugh almost slides out, sometimes he really does, and that makes a different slick sound and Paul’s lips will fall open. Hugh grabs his hips and presses back in, fucking up into Paul a little, slick sounds and slaps of skin and Paul’s little gasps making him keep the pace even, slowly changing the angle so he can -

“Fuck!!!”

Hugh’s ears ring a little. But Paul has his head thrown back and he’s clenched down, shaking and starting to break a sweat, a textbook portrayal of ecstasy. His thighs are tense, too. Hugh squeezes them gently.

Paul leans back again, picking up the pace. He must’ve found a good angle because every thrust is punctuated by punched out gasps, he’s starting to speed up, wrapping a hand around his dick and tugging on it, up the shaft and a curl over the head that makes him clench some more, like he wants to keep Hugh inside his body forever.

“Paul!” Hugh gasps out, squeezing Paul’s hips probably too tight, balls hot and tensed up.

Paul’s eyes meet his and he grins wildly, blowing Hugh a kiss before suddenly going stiff, almost shooting off Hugh’s lap with a soft squeak. But Hugh holds him down. Grinds into him. Watches as Paul’s jaw goes completely slack. He holds Paul like that, for just a moment, watching him shake with tension.

“Come for me,” he says gently, squeezing Paul’s bruised hips.

Paul draws a shuddering breath, strips his dick one, two more times before his hips give an involuntary twitch and he moans, eyes falling shut, clenching violently around Hugh while he moves. Hugh watches him come, for a moment thrown somewhere where he doesn’t feel arousal, just deep, deep love.

Then Paul’s come drips down onto Hugh’s stomach, hot enough to burn, and he tugs on Paul’s hips again, fucking into his still clenching ass, gasping out his love’s name amidst swears while he empties himself, Paul hot around him. He goes limp eventually while Hugh still rides out the last waves, giving a few lazy thrusts more before stopping too.

Paul breathes shakily against his neck. Hugh runs his hands up to his back, hugging him close.

Paul will be sore later, and at the very least his hips will be bruised, and once they’ve calmed down again Hugh will absolutely litter his body with hickeys for Paul to remember him by. But for now they just need to hold each other.

 

 

They shower eventually, Paul practically unable to stand, and then Hugh simply carries him over to the huge bed.

“It’s like I fucked the brains out of you,” he whispers into Paul’s hair once they’re settled.

Paul snorts.

“Were you trying to say something cute there?”

Hugh laughs too, pulling Paul a little closer.

“Yeah, I was. Guess I’m the one who had his brains fucked out.”

“Mmh.” Paul slings an arm over Hugh’s chest, thumbs his nipple and kisses whatever skin he can reach without moving. “Hey, remember the thing I talked about earlier?”

“Something about dildos?”

“Yeah. I’d like to take a cast of your dick later, so I can fuck you even when you’re not with me. Three more months, Hugh. I need to get some dick in-between.”

“What about me?”

“I’ve got two of those kits.”

“Really? Man, you were optimistic.”

Paul tugs at Hugh’s nipple a little sharply.

“Hey, I’m not the one who constantly complains he doesn’t get fucked!”

“Actually, you are.”

“But so are you.”

“Good point,” Hugh concedes. 

They’re quiet for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. Paul smells good. Feels good. Warm and soft and familiar, like that’s where Hugh belongs.

“Three more months,” he repeats, mostly to himself. “Then I’ll get to wake up next to you every single morning. Kiss you every single day. Make love to you. Shower with you. Complain about you balling up your socks. Watch TV with you. Smack your ass and steal your shirts and suck your dick. Fall asleep next to you every night.”

Paul hugs him tighter.

“Three more months,” he says too. “We can do that, Hugh.”

“With some DIY boyfriend cock during that.”

“I’ll let you try your dick, if you want.”

“So noble. I’ll let you suck yours.”

Paul laughs and plucks at Hugh’s nipple again.

Dread suddenly settles in Hugh’s stomach.

“When do you have to leave?”

It’s their ugly question, the question neither of them wants to ask but that they still need to talk about as soon as possible, every time, just so it’s out of the way.

“Noon tomorrow. I couldn’t get as much time off as I’d wanted, and… I mean, you’re not here for me.”

“I’ll spend the morning with you. I’ll bring you to the ’port.”

“You don’t have to. You’re here for the conference.”

“And who cares what I’ll miss, as long as I get to make love to you tomorrow and feed you breakfast and kiss you until we’re both sick of it.”

Paul pushes himself up on his elbow and regards Hugh with the same bittersweet expression Hugh is probably wearing, too.

“I love you,” he whispers. “Three more months, Hugh. We can do this.”

Hugh pulls him down into a kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wanted to be continued, and, uh, will apparently have both this and a third chapter with about as much plot as the first one, ie none, but lots of porn! enjoy!

The best thing about sleeping with Paul is waking up snug and secure in Paul’s arms, wrapped in a blanket burrito, close to overheating but still deliciously toasty, with Paul breathing into his neck and everything being okay.

It’s not quite as nice when you wake up to the 6 a.m. alarm you didn’t cancel the night before because you were too busy trading kisses.

Paul huffs into Hugh’s neck, and before Hugh has even been able to muster the energy to crawl out of Paul’s arms and switch off the alarm, Paul pushes himself up and slaps it.

The ensuing silence is blissful. Paul flops back down against Hugh’s back.

“So I’m pretty awake now,” he mutters eventually. “Breakfast, then cuddles?”

Hugh twines their fingers together, eyes already half closed again. 

“Are we replicating breakfast?”

“I would’ve made pancakes…”

“I love you.”

Paul laughs. “The way to a man’s heart truly is through his stomach, isn’t it?”

Hugh turns around, reluctantly forcing his eyes open so he can regard Paul.

“No, I just meant… you have a really stressful trip behind you, and another one ahead of you, on top of your work. So… you don’t have to. I’d love to if you did, of course, but you don’t have to.”

“If it makes you happy -“

“Yeah, but if it would make you happier to lie in bed with me while we eat something replicated, then -“

“But then you wouldn’t be as happy.”

Hugh rolls his eyes and slides an arm around Paul.

“It’s not a competition. And I don’t want to stress you. You’re already doing more than you have to by coming out here just to see me.”

“You make it sound like seeing you is a chore, Hugh. And I don’t have to do anything. I wanted to come here. If anything, it was me being selfish and interrupting your work.”

Paul’s fingers come up to Hugh’s mouth before he can complain that Paul is not interrupting, never.

“Tell you what,” Paul says. “You let me make pancakes, and as payment you have to, hmm. I don’t know.”

“Eat you out?” Hugh blurts out, sounding quite a lot too eager probably.

Paul chuckles. “Shouldn’t payment be something you aren’t _quite_ so eager to deliver?”

“Aww, and here I was hoping you’d sit on my face later.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t. What about - what about you letting me stim for a while later?” Paul gives him puppy eyes, fingers already trailing over Hugh’s beard. “Pleeeaase?”

Hugh nuzzles into the sensation and smiles. “Because that’s so hard for me, right?”

“Right. Now, I’ll go brush my teeth, and then you’ll go shower and brush yours and then you can join me and kiss me while I cook, and then I’ll go clean up so you can have my ass for dessert.”

“I don’t think there’s such a thing as dessert for breakfast.” Hugh smiles at him some more, scratching the back of his head and watching Paul lean into the sensation. 

“Mmhm, only boring people wouldn’t have a three course meal for breakfast.”

“What’s the first course then?”

“I could let you lick syrup off my body.”

Hugh laughs. “That’s gross!”

“Oh, fine, be like that then. Means I won’t let you lick my spatula either, then.”

“Your spatula, huh?”

Paul gives him a shove. “Not _everything_ is an innuendo, you know that, right?”

“And what was all that you sent me yesterday?”

“Sexts.”

“And those aren’t innuendos?”

Paul grins and leans down, pressing his face to Hugh’s cheek. He doesn’t reply, and Hugh lets himself be cuddled.

Eventually Paul sits up again, grin replaced by a soft smile, the corners of his eyes turning upwards, same as his eyebrows.

“What time are you on for your meds now?” he asks softly, and if that isn’t love, then Hugh really doesn’t know.

Ever since he mentioned he has meds that need to be taken regularly, Paul has kept an eye on the schedule, making sure Hugh takes them, to the best of his abilities. Paul has never been a particularly observant man, and he regularly manages to forget important dates (including the winter solstice festival once)… but never about stuff like that.

“Hmm…” Hugh turns to the clock on the nightstand. “Six thirty. Seventeen more minutes before you need to pester me.”

“Alright.” Paul pets his beard again before crawling out of bed, tucking the sheets in around Hugh again. “Me bathroom, you bed. Then you bathroom, I kitchen.”

“And always you - my heart!” Hugh calls after him.

Paul’s pretty behind vanishes into the bathroom and Hugh smiles to himself. He can’t wait to be properly domestic with Paul, every day. Have exchanges like this every day. Have the bed be warm and smelling of Paul. 

He pushes himself up and snatches Paul’s pillow. Somehow, Paul always manages to put the same crease into his pillow, no matter where they are. It smells a little of his shampoo and still far too much of whatever cleaning agent they use to make the pillows smell fresh and crisp. Ideally the sheets would stay until Paul decides the texture is bad, until they smell of the two of them and the creases are round and soft instead of crisp and sharp.

Hugh puts the pillow down again without shaking it too much, lest it lose any of Paul’s scent. He’ll either sleep on it tonight or hug it close, and he can’t have it not smelling of Paul anymore.

He slips out of bed too and stretches, feeling his joints pop and some muscles loosen. 

Already the room looks more lived in. When he arrived, Hugh more or less shoved his suitcase into the wardrobe after immediately unpacking, closed the door and then left everything else bare. He doesn’t like hotel rooms, the anonymity and facelessness they hold, cool and inviting but nothing beneath the surface, no sense of home and welcoming. 

It’s just another reason for why he looks forward to finally living with Paul so much, because then they won’t have to meet up in these empty, almost hospital-like rooms anymore, but will have a space of their own where they can keep knicknacks and personal stuff, where it’ll feel like they belong there. 

This… this feels more like an anonymous hookup, like Paul is a pretty stripper Hugh bought to feel less alone at night. He wants a place where Paul can complain that Hugh leaves his stuff everywhere and where Hugh can complain that Paul is so obsessed with keeping things tidy, and where the air will smell like them.

“What are you moping about?” Paul is out of the bathroom and eyeing Hugh quizzically. “Come on, we have… five and a half hours left, all for us.”

Oh. 

Hugh feels a bit sick all of a sudden. Five and a half hours, that’s… that’s practically no time.

“I miss you,” he answers, voice unfairly hoarse all of a sudden. “I miss you, Paul, all the time. Less, when you’re with me, but I still miss you.”

Paul’s face softens.

“I know. Let’s make the most out of it, okay?”

 

 

 

 

When Hugh comes out of the bathroom again, the suite already smells of pancakes.

And now that he’s got brushed teeth he wastes no time to grab Paul, crowd him against the counter and kiss the breath out of him. Paul whimpers and his hands come up to hold on to Hugh’s biceps. Paul tastes of minty toothpaste and pancake batter, and Hugh kisses him until he has to pull back and gasp for breath. The world is already swaying a little from lack of oxygen. Or from the rush of love.

Paul surges up again almost immediately, keeping his kisses short to gasp for breath between them before he eventually just leans his head against Hugh’s, panting a little. 

Hugh squeezes where he’s holding on to Paul’s sides.

“I love you,” he says against Paul’s lips, feels them curl into a smile. 

Eventually Paul lets go of him and turns back to making breakfast, saving one rather dark pancake, and Hugh snuggles into him from behind. Paul is still wearing nothing but one of Hugh’s shirts and underwear, allowing Hugh to easily slip his hands under the shirt and rub his squishy tummy.

Hugh hums happily. Paul’s stomach is yet another thing he missed, because it’s soft to the touch and squishable and it’s perfect to lie his head on and nap.

“Love you,” he whispers.

Paul flips a pancake perfectly, puts the spatula aside and lays his hand on top of Hugh’s, squeezing them. Hugh kisses his neck and closes his eyes.

 

 

 

They stay like that until the pancakes are done, and then Hugh helps Paul to pile them onto plates and take them back into bed. 

They eat in relative silence, unable to stop themselves from glancing at each other. 

“Tell me about your work on _Discovery_ ,” Hugh eventually says softly, trying to keep the mood from tanking.

“I’ve told you everything.”

“Then tell me again.”

“I-I don’t know -“

“How is Straal getting on with the _Glenn,_ then?”

Paul sighs. “Better than me, I think. We don’t… well, I told you, we don’t get to talk much, these days. Captain Lorca is, uh, I don’t think he’s particularly happy with the progress we’re making.”

“That’s easy to say when all you do is sit on a chair and boss people around.”

That manages to get a small smile on Paul’s face.

“I’m sure he’s... well...”

“Doing his best by terrorizing his best scientist?” Hugh nudges him. “And his prettiest scientist too.”

“Stop that.”

Hugh leans over and nudges Paul’s cheek with his nose.

“But I loooooove you,” he singsongs, laughing when Paul scrunches up his face and tries to shove Hugh away.

Hugh gets his and Paul’s plate to safety before tackling him into the bed.

“Love you,” he says again, nuzzling against Paul’s face. “And once I come onboard, I’ll personally rip that guy a new one if he so much as frowns at you.”

Paul relaxes and lets himself be pressed into the mattress, making a short happy wiggle.

“You’ll be my knight in shining armor then? Protecting me from all the dragons and trolls and all the bad in the world?”

“I will.” Hugh is only half joking because he already has a bad feeling about this man. “How about your little fan though? Cadet Tilly? How is she doing?”

Paul grins. His hands come up to hold Hugh’s waist.

“She’s doing pretty well. Good work, and she’s bright and thinks outside of the box, and she’s pleasant to work with. Sometimes I feel like...” He diverts his look from Hugh, frowning again. “I don’t know how right my feeling is, but sometimes I feel like she’s one of the few who actually take me serious and who... who doesn’t - when I give orders, she is the only one where I feel like she isn’t just following them for the sake of following an order. Does that make sense?”

“You feel like the other ones don’t actually hold an interest in your science.”

“Yeah, something like that. I don’t know. Maybe I’m being oversensitive. I just would’ve liked to keep my original research team, because I got on with them and they knew... they knew what my focus was and the things that were important to me. Maybe I’m also whining, I don’t know.”

“It’s a legitimate concern. You need those people to work well and put their everything into their work.”

“Is it the same in medicine?” Paul asks.

“Of course! If the chemistry between nurses and doctors is bad and neither works on improving the relationship, they either deliver bad work or spend way too much energy on infighting.”

Paul hums in response, eyes fluttering closed.

“And if they don’t like you,” Hugh puts his lips right under Paul’s ear. “I’ll accidentally mix their shots with some Llornan antibodies. Makes them all itchy.” He moves down further, kissing a line down Paul’s neck.

“I wouldn’t want you to lose your job.”

“Mmh, nobody would have to know.”

“ _Please_ don’t lose your job just because you want to play pranks on someone.”

Hugh noses into Paul’s collar and smiles.

Paul sighs. “Promise me?”

“I promise, but you promise me you’ll do something if they actually get nasty, okay?”

“Fine. Now, were you going somewhere with all that kissing, or…?”

Hugh grins and presses his face back in the angle between Paul’s shoulder and neck. 

“Would you like for me to go somewhere with it?”

“Preferably somewhere between my legs.”

“Brat.”

Paul kicks his right leg out from underneath Hugh and slings it around his hips.

“Please?”

Hugh pushes himself up and shoves the hem of Paul’s shirt up, a bit ungracefully maybe, and very happily plants his face in his stomach, humming a bit. 

“Is that just me, or did you lose weight?”

“Ugh, I hoped you wouldn’t notice.” Hugh looks up to see Paul grimace. “Yeah, I have. It’s not - I _am_ eating, I just don’t always have enough time. I’m serious. I’m not bad, I’m just stressed. I don’t even - it’s been a couple weeks since I did any sort of sport-y extracurricular activity. I promise it’s just stress.”

Hugh doesn’t blink.

“Oh for - fuck’s sake, Hugh, I promise. I’m a hundred percent honest with you right now. I’m not throwing up, I’m not starving myself. I am - to be honest, I was quite happy with my weight, and I’m a little bummed I’ve gotten thinner. Seriously.”

“Sorry for doubting you, my love.”

Paul pouts at him. “Yeah. Now come on, you can still enjoy my body with a couple kilos less.”

“A couple kilos?!”

“Jesus, Hugh, come on. I don’t want to fight about this. I _promise_ I’ll do better.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. Promise to tell me if -“

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, I want to do something fun with the remaining -“ Paul looks over to the nightstand. “Four hours and-“

Hugh shushes him. “Let’s not do a countdown.”

“Exactly. Let’s do a sex instead.”

Hugh presses his face back into Paul’s stomach, trying to reset his mood a little. He knows he worries too much sometimes, gets too much on Paul’s ass for his eating habits (and they’re not even that bad, really; most days Paul eats completely normal, and even on the days he doesn’t he only skips one meal, or doesn’t eat up completely. It probably really is just Hugh being an asshole).

“Right. Sorry. I love you. And I’m going to kiss you now until you can’t breathe, and then I’ll kiss you some more,” he promises.

And he does. Paul is a model of willingness, slinging his arms around Hugh and pressing up into his touch, opening his lips practically without prompting and moaning happily into the kiss. Hugh tries to sneak some breathing in-between kisses but Paul definitely doesn’t let him, tugging him down again and rolling his hips up and making nothing but beautiful sounds. 

Those are some of their favorite times together, where they can just be snuggled close, kiss like they’re going to starve, let their hands wander.

Hugh grabs Paul’s ass and feels him laugh against his lips.

“The fact that you’re such an ass guy,” he gasps when they separate for a few seconds to get air. “That you can barely keep your hands off it.”

“It’s a great ass.” He kisses Paul again, lets his hips roll into Paul’s, feel both of them getting hard a little, Paul’s hands finding their way under his shirt.

They end up with Paul on top after a while, grinding down into Hugh like it’s his job, kissing him between gasping for air, and Hugh just allows himself to open his legs and let Paul press between them. 

“Please tell me you cleaned up in the bathroom,” Paul says eventually, letting go of the skin where he was sucking a hickey into Hugh’s neck.

“Paul, I promise you, I’m just as horny as you are. So, yeah, of course I did.”

Paul laughs breathlessly and moves over to the others side.

“Good. Now, tell me again why sucking a hickey here feels really good? You told me once and I didn’t understand it but it was really hot.”

Hugh buries his hand in Paul’s hair and tries to will his brain back into thinking.

“Uhhhhhhh.” How Paul alternates the way he’s sucking on Hugh’s skin, adding and removing teeth, laving his tongue over the abused skin and Hugh can feel a bruise forming, not even sure anymore what it is Paul wanted. “Nerves.”

“M-hm?”

“’S what makes it feel so goo-ooood, Paul, please!”

“Something about a nervous plexus?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” There’s no way a human body should be able to run as hotly as Paul’s is running right now, like he’s burning Hugh’s skin simply by loving him.

And then Paul lets up, and Hugh is left to gasp and feel Paul’s breath cool the abused skin.

“You’re so cute when you’re so stupid with pleasure that you can barely talk.”

“I love you too. And I want to bottom.”

“I know.” Paul gives him that impish smile, the one that promises he’s going to blow Hugh’s mind. “Now, is that just me or do we want to get some mouth action in here too?”

Hugh runs his hands up Paul’s sides, squishing him a little.

“Shirt off?”

Paul complies, and Hugh runs his hands up Paul’s chest again. Squeezes his pecs, making sure to rub the palm of his hands over Paul’s nipples, watching the way Paul presses into his touch.

“I’m such a lucky guy,” he breathes.

“Do you want to suck my dick or do you want to compliment me?”

“Ohh. Both. Definitely both.”

Paul laughs and gets off Hugh to kick his boxers off before coming up to sit on Hugh’s chest.

“You’re a very attractive guy,” Hugh tells him. “And I’m very lucky to be allowed to suck your dick.”

It’s bobbing against Paul’s stomach and Paul grins down on him.

“Well then? How about you get started on the sucking?”

Hugh wraps his fingers about Paul’s dick and tugs for a bit, feels the skin give a little under his fingers, feels it throb.

Paul makes a happy sigh and scoots further up Hugh’s chest to right where they both know is the best place for him so Hugh can get him as deep as possible in this position.

He lets his lips fall open and allows Paul inside. 

Paul moans and hitches his hips forward, steadying himself against the wall. He can thrust a little in this position, use Hugh’s throat like they both know Hugh likes. Hugh lets his hands cup Paul’s ass to spare his bruised hips and to pull him in just a little further. They establish a nice rhythm almost immediately, and Hugh closes his eyes to relax into the sensation of Paul fucking his mouth, building up enough suction to make it good for Paul but not too much to get him too excited, squeezing Paul between his tongue and palate, enjoying the blissful sighs Paul makes, the way his ass flexes and his dick teases at the back of Hugh’s throat.

Paul eventually drops a hand to the top of Hugh’s head to pet his hair. His sighs have turned to gasps and he’s sweating a little with the effort of rocking himself, and with the constant tingling of pleasure that’s coursing through his system. There are tears streaming down Hugh’s face and his lips feel a bit raw and puffy, and he feels like he’s running out of air, Paul’s scent overwhelming him whenever he breathes in, the way he scratches through Hugh’s hair that makes sparks rain down Hugh’s spine to his balls, making them tighten, making him twitch his hips up into nothing. He’s hard, and every time that Paul pushes past his lips it feels like he’s getting a little harder.

“You’re doing so well, you - hah - know that, right?”

It’s also entirely possible that Paul praising him does things to Hugh.

He can only moan in response. Paul curses softly and his hand flies to the base of his dick, squeezing.

“Ohhkay, I feel like we should- uh - get this show on the road, yeah?”

He pulls out of Hugh’s mouth, tip of his dick dragging over Hugh’s lips, evading his attempts to get his dick back inside, and then dragging the tip down his chin and over his neck before finally pressing it between Hugh’s pecs, rubbing himself against Hugh a little.

Hugh laughs. “Do you want a boob job, baby?”

“I mean. Sorta?” Paul thrusts again, and Hugh obligingly lets go of Paul to squeeze his pecs together instead. “Ahhhh. See, this is why I love dating guys with big boobs.”

“Aw, so I’m only a sex object for you?” Hugh licks his lips. They’re sore and potentially cracked, because he sure as hell hasn’t given enough head in the past months.

Paul pushes his hips forward and his eyes roll back in his skull.

“Yessssss, oh, yes, Hugh, you - mh - feel really good, fuck, really amazing, thank you so much.”

Hugh grins to himself then dips his head down as far as it goes, stretching out his tongue to steal a swipe over Paul’s dick when it pushes forward. It’s another position that’s difficult for breathing, but Paul’s making the prettiest shocked punched out noises whenever his dick hits Hugh’s tongue. His thighs keep rubbing over Hugh’s nipples, tugging on the piercings, a little extra bit of stimulation to add on to Paul’s dick and balls pressing against his skin, hot and wet with precome and Hugh’s spit.

Paul keeps making those sounds and Hugh is gasping and moaning as well, never wanting this to end because Paul feels just so good on top of him, taking whatever he wants, and how his thrusts are getting jerkier, his gasps sharper and then suddenly he stiffens, shaking, eyes squeezed closed.

Hugh switches one of his hands keeping his pecs pressed together for his elbow and then manages to contort the hand enough to stroke over the top side of Paul’s dick.

“Come on,” he pants. “Come for me, darling, please.”

Paul shudders. Hugh can feel the exact moment where he gives up, lets his hips relax and fuck Hugh’s chest again. Paul’s noises turn to high pitched whimpers and Hugh has to laugh a bit, panting against the head of Paul’s dick.

Paul swears and calls out Hugh’s name and Hugh squeezes his ass a bit more, urging him on into his orgasm, and finally his come spills over Hugh’s skin, hitting his tongue and dripping down the side of his neck. Hugh manages to lap over Paul’s dick, even getting a bit of the tip into his mouth again to suck at it, and Paul squeals and squirms a little, but Hugh keeps holding onto him for a while.

He lets go and Paul flops down next to him, eyes mostly closed and smiling a blissful, stupid smile. Hugh reaches over him to get Paul’s discarded shirt and wipe away the come on his chest and neck. He’s not too partial to the taste, but he knows they both love coming on each other’s skin, so he’ll never deny Paul that particular enjoyment. And after all, a hot tongue pressing against your dick while you come is fucking fantastic.

“What on Earth are you thinking about again?” Paul mutters, throwing an arm around Hugh’s chest and anchoring him to the bed. “Just kiss me and let me doze for a while before I make love to you so good you’ll cry.”

Hugh does turn to curl around Paul and press his face into his hair.

“So good I cry, huh?”

“Oh yeah.”

“What are you planning?” 

He doesn’t feel the least bit bad about pressing his erection into Paul’s thigh, because after all Paul made it this hard.

“Someone’s excited,” Paul says into Hugh’s chest.

“Well you said you were going to fuck me, so of course I’m excited, corazón.”

“I said I was going to make love to you.” Paul’s fingers curl around Hugh’s biceps, thumb staying on the sensitive inside and stroking over the skin there. “I’m going to kiss you, first your mouth and then your neck and then I’ll suck on your nipples while playing with the one I’m not sucking, always alternating so they’ll both get all the love they deserve, and then I’ll kiss your abs and then I’ll kiss your dick, making love to it with my mouth while stroking the insides of your thighs, watching your cremaster muscle twitch, and then I’ll turn you around and massage your back while sitting on your ass, grinding against it a little bit, and then I’ll finger you open while kissing your neck, and I’ll rub my dick against your ass, pretending I’ll let it slip in, but really I’ll wait until I’ve got you turned around again, and then I’ll spread your legs and massage your ass and _then_ I’ll push in, going really slow, kissing your face while I go in, really slow so you’ll feel it, and then I’ll fuck you so slowly, Hugh, I’ll be so careful and you’ll love it so much. Unless you’d rather rub off against my thigh now?”

Hugh laughs. “Sorry. But, unf, Paul, yes. Fuck, I can’t put into words how much I’m looking forward to that. I am _really_ excited now. I just hope I can last.”

“You came yesterday while you were sucking my dick and before that, when you fucked me after dinner. I think you’ll be fine.”

“I haven’t had your dick in me for -“ Hugh drags his hips against Paul’s thigh again, feeling himself really start dripping precome. “Well, I don’t know actually, but probably for several months. I think last time we saw each other we had something like eight hours because you were in layover and I was in orbit, and I think I spent five and a half hours with my dick in your ass.”

Paul snorts, hugging Hugh close again. “Sounds about right. God, I was so sore afterwards.”

“I didn’t even buy you dinner. Just kicked down the door, ripped your pants off and went right in.”

“I was already naked.”

“Oooh, yeah, I remember, you were. I texted you I’d be there in a minute or something and you said you had already assumed the position. I’ve never seen anything as pretty as you on that bed with your legs spread, fingers in your ass, dick hard, eyes closed and your lips so pink and plush,” Hugh remembers. 

“You didn’t even say hi, you just got your dick out and went in and the first time we talked was after you’d made me come twice.” Paul finally lets his thigh slip between Hugh’s legs, allowing Hugh to properly angle his dick against Paul and get some good thrusts in. “That was so overwhelming. One moment there were my fingers and I was feeling a bit cold and lonely and then you were there and you just _took_ me. No foreplay, nothing. You didn’t even kiss me properly until after. And normally I’d kick a guy out of my bedroom immediately for that, but… I don’t know, it was exactly what I needed. Just you taking me like you own me. Which, I mean, in a way you do own me, and you fucking me like that was exactly what I needed. Mmhmm.”

Hugh has to smile too. They really did do nothing but fuck for the few hours they had each other. He’d even gotten them some stamina enhancers, and they really needed them. Sure, they were super sore afterwards and had barely had anything to eat or just a conversation in-between declarations of love while gasping for air and ecstatic moans and filthy comments, and the bed was sweaty and disgusting and soaked and they spent the last half hour sitting in the shower together because neither of them could stand up anymore. Hugh walked Paul to his gate, and when the ship was fifteen minutes delayed they sucked face for a while. No time for talking.

“Good times.”

“I still wonder why I bottomed since I was the one who was going to spend twelve hours sitting in a shuttle seat and you were going to take a ten minute jump bus back up to your ship where you were going to be walking around for your whole shift. My poor ass.”

Hugh hums and rolls his hips again, considering whether he wants to come now and let himself get hard again while Paul gets him ready.

“You really liked it though. Like… Paul, my love, I don’t think you’ve ever screamed this much during sex. I had to push your face into a pillow because I was pretty sure someone would’ve called the police.”

“It was really good high energy sex, I hadn’t gotten any in ages, I was super stressed and letting loose just felt amazing, your dick is a work of art, I spent more time playing with my ass than actually opening myself up so it was really intense, and you were so fucking determined to make me scream, too, so… really, what was I supposed to do?”

“I like it.”

“Yeah, I know. Now, are you going to come on my thigh or are you able to control this thing for a while?” Paul lets go of Hugh’s biceps to squeeze his dick through his underwear. “Why do I have the feeling that the answer will be no?”

“Because I’m really hard?”

“And really leaking.”

Hugh laughs and makes a point of fucking into Paul’s hand for a while. “I do kind of want to get off with low effort now and then get off properly when you fuck me. But I also… ahh, I don’t know. You said you were going to blow me but getting off on that is too intense and I want to keep some energy for being the bossiest, beggiest, complainiest, squirmiest bottom in the world. I want to ride you, too.”

Paul squeezes him again. “One day we’ll be on shore leave together and we’ll spend a couple days in bed, just having sex and doing everything we want, and I’ll let you live out every bottom fantasy you might have. And as for now… yeah, I think I’ll get you off, we’ll clean up and make out for a while. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes please!”

Paul’s hand finds its way into Hugh’s pants and they both sigh. 

“So, what do you want?”

“Just… just a couple strokes, nothing special. Just getting off and then snuggling you for a bit.”

“Alright.” Paul starts stroking him and Hugh sighs into his neck. “Is that okay or do you need- ?”

“Perfect, my love. Aaah.”

It feels so good to just lay back and let the sensations wash over him. Hugh closes his eyes and nuzzles deeper into Paul’s hair, letting himself fall into Paul’s loving touch and the electric sparks that skitter over his skin. It feels almost detached, and then Paul starts squeezing the tip some more and suddenly Hugh’s balls just draw up and he sighs into Paul’s hair while he empties himself. Paul keeps stroking him until Hugh is completely spent, and then he pulls his hand back and licks his fingers clean.

Hugh laughs low in his throat. “You know you don’t have to do that to seduce me, right?”

“Let a guy enjoy himself sometimes, Hugh. Don’t be mean. I just like the taste.”

“You, Paul Stamets, are cumslut.”

“So?”

“Nothing, I just - it doesn’t taste _that_ good. It’s not awful, but -“

“Clearly you have never tasted come if you don’t like it.” Paul’s eyes are glittering with the mirth Hugh has learned to associate with him just having gotten Hugh off. “I like it and it belongs down my throat.”

“You’re the worssssst.” Hugh rolls them around until he’s on top of Paul, holding him and pressing his face against Paul’s throat.

Paul’s fingers come up to scratch at his beard and he hums happily. “Please know that if you ever shave your beard I _will_ break up with you.”

“Please know I require you to sit on my face later so you can properly appreciate my beard.”

“Ooh, definitely. I take beard appreciation very seriously.”

They lapse into a comfortable silence, disturbed only by the way Paul’s fingers rasp over Hugh’s beard.

“There’s a cadet interning with us at the moment,” Hugh begins. “Kind of a cutie, really. He reminds me of you, in a way. Bit on the grumpy side, very blue eyes… you’d like him. I mean - _I_ like him, too. He’s got a bit of an attitude, but he’s so damn good at his job we’re all more than happy to let him. No idea what he’s still doing as a cadet, because they should give him his own medbay already.”

“So why isn’t he a doctor yet?” Paul’s voice is low, almost sleepy, and his fingers have started to trace the symbol he often does because it’s the most comforting movement to him. His pulse beats slowly and steadily.

“Starfleet protocol. He has an MD already, he just needs to go through the necessary ’fleet training and then they’ll make him a shipside doctor alright.”

“Starfleet is stupid then.” There’s a smile in Paul’s voice and no heat at all, so Hugh lets the comment slide. “Is he hot?”

“Not as hot as I am.”

Paul snorts. “But what if I want to fuck a different doctor?”

“I thought my ass was good enough for you,” Hugh protests, flexing that particular ass in the hopes that Paul will be able to feel it with the hand on Hugh’s thigh, and sure enough Paul lets his hand wander upwards and squeezes back.

“Mostly. It’s just so far away sometimes.”

Hugh pushes himself up on his elbows to regard Paul. The hand on his beard moves up with him.

“Three more months,” he promises again. “Paul, do you realize how lucky we are? There are so many couples who’ll end up torn apart by their jobs, or who’ll have to do the long distance thing for so much longer, or forever, so many people who maybe never find the person they want to find because of their jobs, and I know - I know this is getting to you, and believe me, it’s getting to me, too, a lot more than I’ll probably ever let on, and every night I have to go to bed without you and every morning I wake up without your arms around me. I am sad you’re not with me, or I’m not with you, but… we’ve come all this way, and already have the biggest chunk of our time apart behind us, so… let’s focus on how soon we’ll be together forever, okay? Instead of letting it get us down. I don’t want to let you go later either, but I also can’t help but look forward to - to when we’ll see each other again without having to say goodbye. Paul, I’m so happy we’re going to get to have this.”

Paul pouts at him. “I mean I _guess_ you’re right, but I still don’t like it.”

“So kiss me. Didn’t you say you wanted to kiss me until I couldn’t think anymore? I love you, Paul. I love you so much. Kiss me.”

That makes Paul smile and pet Hugh’s cheek. Hugh smiles back at him and puts his hand over Paul’s.

“I love you too,” Paul replies. “I love you very much. And you’re right.”

“I know. Kiss me.”

Paul slides his hand around to the back of Hugh’s neck and pulls him in for that kiss. It does have a hint of sadness and a whole lot of desperation to it, but maybe they need this just as much as all the cute stuff. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you enjoyed this please leave me a comment <3 i'm also to be found on [@shroom-boi](http://www.shroom-boi.tumblr.com)!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave me a comment and come say hi over on [@shroom-boi](http://www.shroom-boi.tumblr.com)!


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